Do you ever feel like you don't stand up for yourself enough?

I felt like that many times in my life. I remember what it felt like when I did it for the first time in a deeply uncomfortable situation. I was in a relationship with someone I now recognize as an abusive man. We hosted a New Year's party at our place. It was late, and I wanted to take the space for myself. After many years of letting people do whatever they wanted out of fear of not being liked, I decided tonight I had had enough. I went to all the guests who were in the middle of a time of their lives. I said I was tired and I wanted everyone to leave. My ex was pissed and verbally awful for a few days. And it was worth it.

Since then, it has gotten easier every time I speak up for myself. I no longer feel obligated to please everyone. My boundaries have become more precious than pleasing other people. It feels good to tell someone I don't want them to visit, that I am not okay with something they're saying, or that I am going to walk away and take care of myself when a situation doesn't feel good.

I have become unafraid of telling doctors what I want and don't want, growing my relationship with my parents even if it means temporary discomfort, speaking truths with my sister for the sake of growth and well-being, and telling a stranger to back off and a new friend or employee what I want and don't want.

It also feels amazing to share genuine compliments with people all the time. This, to me, is another form of speaking up. When something they are wearing looks beautiful, I say it. When I see people in a park having an amazing time, I tell them how wonderful it is. When someone makes me smile, I share with them why and offer gratitude. I tell people when they inspire me and honor those whom I can who have shaped my life in priceless ways.

All this has made me feel powerful and strong in my body and being. It took practice and a lot of discomfort, and it is worth it.

How did I get from shying away from speaking anything that might rock the boat of being liked, despite not even feeling like I was liked, to someone who will care for my own needs even at the risk of making others, including myself, uncomfortable?

There are three keys:

1. A strong grounding, centering, and alignment practice that I have done in various forms for almost two decades.

2. I focus on spirituality in many forms in my life. The wisdom of witches, ritual and meditation, indigenous elders and shamans, ancient ways and powerful spells, and decades of studies in various mysteries and traditions have opened up pathways within that have led to trust, purpose, and connection.

3. Community. It started when I distanced myself from my family and found a magical community across the world on various continents that helped me open a door inside myself that led to self-acceptance. From here, I was able to rejoin my family of origin. Today, my magical family and my family of origin are pillars in my life that help me stand strong.

If this sounds like something you want, you have come to the right place. The Magic is Key membership offers courses and practices to help you craft a grounding, centering, and alignment practice for your life. Not only that, our member's temple is a living library with everything you need to explore various spiritual paths and find what works for you. Our monthly live calls also allow you to connect with the community. It's all right here.

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